


A Thin Line

by queerofthedagger



Series: Chasing Stars - A Series of Jegulus One-Shots [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Fix-It, M/M, Regulus needs a hug, Some Fighting But Nothing Violent, Some Swearing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 02:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21171791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofthedagger/pseuds/queerofthedagger
Summary: Regulus doesn’t cope well with Sirius running away. At all. He starts taking it out on James, who minds less than he probably should. But there always is a breaking point, in the end.





	A Thin Line

**Author's Note:**

> Another Prompt fill: "Argument leading to kissing."
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy!

It starts after their first Quidditch game of James’ 6th year. Gryffindor won against Slytherin by ten points, James scoring the deciding goal only seconds before Regulus caught the Snitch and, due to all the congratulations directly afterwards, he’s the last to leave the locker room after taking a shower.

Obviously, he’s in high spirits and whistles to himself while locking the door, utterly unprepared when someone barrels into him, hands pushing roughly against his chest. His back crashes into the door frame, head hitting against unforgiving wood, and he needs a second too long to make out who exactly is attacking him, long enough for a hand to fist into his collar.

“You think you’re so bloody brilliant, don’t you Potter?” Regulus spits, and his eyes widen in surprise.

Of all the people, he didn’t expect Sirius’ little brother to ambush him; well, that’s not completely true – he didn’t expect Regulus to attack him, physically, _without magic._

His surprise and subsequent silence aren’t received very well, Regulus shoving against him once more and he winces at the sharp edge digging into his back, hands flying up on their own accord, curling around Regulus’ wrists.

Regulus might be a bit taller than him but he’s pretty sure that he’s stronger – still, he doesn’t want to fight with him, is still a bit bewildered that this is actually happening at all, and tries to say as calmly as he can muster, “Come on, we won fair and square, this isn’t worth fighting over. I didn’t cheat or anything – “

Apparently, it’s the wrong thing to say because Regulus tightens his grip on his collar and sneers, eyes blazing with fury. “What, unlike us horrible, unworthy Slytherins?!”

And really, James didn’t even mean it that way, didn’t even _think_ that but his patience is quickly running out and he tightens his own grip around Regulus’ wrists, feeling the bones move underneath his fingers.

They stare at each other and there’s still some hope left within him that Regulus will just let him go, but he does no such thing and James thinks it’s rather justified when he pushes forward, putting all his weight behind it and simultaneously kicking Regulus’ feet out from underneath him.

He didn’t account for Regulus to keep a hold of his robes and they tumble to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs, elbows digging into ribs, a knee hitting him into the stomach that it knocks his breath out, enough for Regulus to turn them around and pin him down.

They’re both panting and what James has in strength, Regulus has in agility, leading them to roll around on the ground more than anything else. Surprisingly enough, Regulus doesn’t seem like he really wants to hurt him, there are no thrown punches, no deliberate infliction of injuries – really, it reminds him more of the joke-wrestling he does with Sirius from time to time than an actual fight, he just doesn’t get the whole purpose of it.

Eventually, they’re both out of breath, sweating and dirt hanging in their hair and their clothes, and Regulus just rolls down from him, both of them silent except for their laboured breathing.

It’s barely a minute until Regulus pulls himself up, throws a glare over his shoulder and disappears, leaving James behind at the side of the pitch, dirtier than after the match, confused and maybe a little turned on – not that he would admit that, even to himself.

* * *

James put the whole thing down to some exuberant frustration over the lost Quidditch match and kept the incident to himself. No matter how much he pretends otherwise, Sirius is still struggling with the whole ‘running away from home’ – thing and would probably run off to hex the living daylight out of his brother, and it feels wrong to tell the others but not him.

It’s not long until it happens again though, this time after one of his detentions. He’s on his way back from cleaning cauldrons for Slughorn and it’s after curfew, when Regulus appears out of nowhere, pushing him against the rough stone wall of the dimly lit corridor.

Like last time, there’s no magic being used, no serious injuries inflicted, just pushing and pulling at each other, taking turns with pinning the other to the wall and an endless string of insults and swearwords on Regulus’ part – honestly, he’s surprised he even knows that many curses.

He tries, a few times, to get out of him just what his bloody problem is, but except a vicious “Fuck you, Potter!” there isn’t any answer, and it ends much like the last time, both of them out of breath, staring at each other for long moments before Regulus disappears as quickly as he came.

He still keeps it to himself, but he feels like suddenly, he’s seeing him everywhere; glaring at him across the Great Hall, eyes meeting and shoulders colliding in the corridors between classes, and at least once a week, Regulus finds him somewhere and they fight, if you can call it that; in dark corridors, empty classrooms, after Quidditch training – somehow, Regulus always seems to find him.

Maybe the strangest part about it is that James actually enjoys it, in a twisted sense of the word. It’s kind of exhilarating, rough and messy and the perfect way to let off some steam, and he thinks that this might be the actual reason Regulus searches him out in the first place.

Regulus keeps insulting him, harsh words pressed out between panting gasps of air, but over the weeks it shifts from simple swear-words to more personal accusations, of destroying his family, of taking his brother away from him, of ‘all of it being his fault,’ and James thinks that he should maybe address the whole issue, should maybe just hold him down and ask him what the hell is going on because he knows that this is not normal, not healthy, and it doesn’t help that he feels a strange mixture of sympathy, desire to help and arousal every time it happens.

He never does though, the desperation he can make out underneath all that fury somehow stopping him, the way he just understands that right now, this is the only way Regulus is actually able to deal with everything, but he can’t shake the feeling that there’s more behind it than Sirius leaving Grimmauld Place.

Of course, his friends notice that something is off after the first few weeks – questions about the bruises on his body, about him zoning out and no longer asking Lily to go out with him every other day, but he puts it down to Quidditch practice and worrying about the war respectively, and while he can see that they don’t believe him completely, they thankfully let him be, most of the time.

The Christmas holidays come and go, with James spending too much time pressing his fingers into the blue and purple bruises on his arms, laying them into the fading marks shaped like more slender fingers, tracing red scratches on his wrists, faint memories of dull pain he misses more than he cares to admit; though if he’s honest – and as desperately as he tries not to be, he’s not mad enough to deceive himself _that_ much – it’s not the actual pain he’s missing but the raw realness it stems from, that strange, rough intimacy, and he vows to himself to finally do something about it, soon.

They find each other on their first night back, not that he made it difficult, wandering the corridors close to the dungeons, and James startles at how horrible Regulus looks. It’s only been three weeks, but his cheeks are hollow and his eyes dull, dark shadows underneath them, but he doesn’t have a second to think about it before Regulus crashes into him with so much force that all air leaves him in a rush.

Regulus is even more frantic than usual, his eyes wild and words spilling from his lips, fractions of sentences of ‘bloody bastard,’ and ‘I hate you,’ of ‘it’s your fault,’ and ‘fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!’ and James tries to keep up, he really does but it doesn’t take long until Regulus has him pinned against the wall, their bodies pressed together and his wrists held in an iron grip at his sides.

Grey eyes pierce right through him, they’re both panting harshly and Regulus’ hair is a mess, sticking to his face, but the only thing James can think of is that at least his eyes aren’t _dull_ anymore and then he doesn’t think anything at all, because Regulus is crashing their mouths together, teeth sinking into his lips and it’s rough and painful and _bloody perfect. _

There’s a small voice inside his mind telling him that this is madness, but Regulus’ hands are pulling at his hair and his clothes and he’s pressing impossibly close, and all he can do is trying to keep up, fisting his hands into the front of Regulus’ robes and praying that this won’t end in a huge disaster. 

As soon as he thinks that, Regulus pulls back, eyes wide and swimming with tears, the picture making something painful lurch in his chest, but before he can react, can say or do anything, Regulus turns and runs, ignoring his calls for him to wait.

He slumps against the wall, running a hand over his face and through his hair and wondering when everything became so terribly fucked up.

* * *

The following week, it’s like Regulus simply vanished. He’s not in the Great Hall during meals, he doesn’t see him once in the corridors and he doesn’t even attend the Slytherin Quidditch practices. Each day, James’ worry increases despite him being sure after the first day that it couldn’t get any worse.

He contemplates asking after him but it’s not like he can just walk up to some Slytherin and inquire after Regulus Black, so on Thursday, he skips his last class, armed with his cloak and the map and then spends an hour hidden next to the Greenhouse.

Apparently, he has _some_ luck left after all, because Regulus leaves a few minutes after the rest of his classmates and, despite feeling like a creep, he follows him until he enters the dungeon and then pulls him into an abandoned classroom.

As soon as he pulls his cloak off he leans against the door, determined to finally sort this out; honestly, he might not have minded serving as a punching bag for the last few months but he’s bloody worried by now and, no matter how exhilarating the whole thing was, he knows that this is some unhealthy shit they had going on.

Regulus is glaring daggers at him, mouth pressed into a thin line and arms crossed over his chest, but he’s not attacking him, so James counts it as a win.

He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair before he says, “Alright, tell me what’s going on please?”

A scoff is his only response, but he didn’t expect it to be that easy, anyway.

“Listen, I know we don’t really know each other but I think that fighting like a Muggle in hidden corridors is not your usual style and believe it or not, I’m worried about you, so, you know, as a sign of gratitude could you _please_ tell me what’s wrong?!” he tries again but instantly sees that it was the wrong thing to say. 

Regulus takes a few steps forward, still glaring. “Oh, as a sign of _gratitude_, as if you didn’t enjoy it,” he sneers, but there are so much anger and desperation flickering through his eyes that the cold mask looks distorted on his face.

He raises his hands and shakes his head, trying to stay calm. “I didn’t say that and that’s exactly my point, it’s not like it doesn’t matter to me –“

“Shut up!” Regulus interrupts him furiously, crossing the remaining distance faster than James can react and punching his chest. “Don’t act like you bloody care, alright, it’s your fault anyway you fucking – “

A sob escapes him and his punches are so uncoordinated by now that his hands are more scrambling than anything else, his whole body trembling, and James does the only thing he can think of, the same he does when Sirius is in a state like this, putting his arms around him and hugging him tightly.

Regulus doesn’t resist, just slumping against him with sobs wracking his whole body, and James is a bit startled at how much it hurts to see him like this.

“They – they’re going to force me… They want me to take the mark,” Regulus presses out between sobs, his hands digging harshly into James’ arms and he can feel all the blood drain from his face.

“No,” he says vehemently, clenching his eyes shut and shaking his head, but Regulus simply laughs, so bitter and hollow that it makes his chest ache.

“I’m not like – like Sirius, I can’t… I don’t have anyone to – anywhere to go, I just –“

“No,” he repeats, even more fiercely and presses his face into Regulus’ shoulder. “You have me, and that’s enough. I swear to Merlin, if you don’t want to, _you won’t_, I promise you.”

There’s no answer for a long time, Regulus calming down slowly but neither of them let go, and James doesn’t know how much time has passed, his back is aching and his head spinning, but there’s not the slightest doubt within him that he won’t let this happen.

Eventually, Regulus lifts his head, his eyes red and so very desperate. “Do you really mean it?”

He nods, smiling slightly. “I always keep my promises.”

Regulus just looks at him for long moments before leaning forward and kissing him softly, carefully even, like he’s just as afraid as James that the moment will break any second now. It’s the polar opposite to their first kiss but he thinks it’s just as perfect, maybe even more so because this time, he feels like while it certainly won’t be easy, they’re going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I always had the Headcanon that Regulus would have a hard time with Sirius leaving and their parents pushing all their expectations on him, and I think it's kind of realistic that he has to take it out somewhere (otherwise he does something stupid a few years later, like going into a cave full of Inferi, all alone. And we all know, that never happened! ;) )
> 
> Thanks for reading! <33


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